


Novocaine

by ghoulhunt



Category: Death Note
Genre: (kind of), Family, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Misgendering, Trans Character, because there are literally no fics with him being hispanic, first big dates oh my, hispanic beyond birthday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4888798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulhunt/pseuds/ghoulhunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light wants to enjoy just one, single night, without anything from his parents.<br/>His luck isn't the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Novocaine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raisuki (inthegripofahurricane)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthegripofahurricane/gifts).



> Written for the wonderful Rach/fuckboylawliet for our fic swap. I originally wrote twelve pages of one fic and was like nah mate I don't like this and literally just finished writing this and I feel horrible since it's being published an hour after the due date but my internet sucks ass so yeah  
> also I just checked tumblr and coincidentally we wrote trans!light fics and I'm screaming  
> I'm sorry if this isn't the best I'm somewhat sleep deprived and had much better ideas than I could write down.  
> EDITED FULLY: OCTOBER 1ST

Light has a date tonight.

The sentence sounds odd in his head. He has a date. Not a homework date, not a get together, a real date, with dinner and nice clothes and wine glasses and everything in between. With a nice button up shirt and really nice black skinny jeans and hell, even a bowtie around his collared neck.

He can’t tell if he’s excited, or maybe he’s completely against the idea. He can’t stop thinking about how handsome his boyfriend will look in a suit of his own, with his dark brown hair and sparkling, piercing dark eyes, and nothing feels like it will go wrong.

He stands in front of the full length mirror. Sayu helped him pick out what to wear tonight, and he’s thankful. He would have had no idea what to do if she hadn’t helped him. Everything from the button up to the shoes he bought just for this occasion. His hair falls perfectly, in his eyes and by the sides of his face, outlining his jawbone, which isn’t slim enough, but he tries not to think of it. He turns to the side, and he’s completely flat, and it’s wonderful, thanks to his binder. He looks exactly how he wished he looked every single day of his life.

He grabs his leather jacket and puts it on. It goes perfectly, and he can’t help but let a smile grow on his face. Everything is just _so perfect_.

“Wow, you look amazing!” Light sees Sayu standing at the door through the mirror. She’s smiling at him.  

“Thanks,” he replies, his voice sounding like a flute, high in contrast to how he looks. He sounds like an older version of his sister.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more excited.” She says. She walks into his white walled room and takes a seat down on his bed.

“Well, I mean, it’s our first ‘big’ date, it’s not like we’ve done something like this before.” He says, looking down at his phone to check the time. It’s only 6:50, and Beyond shouldn’t be here for another fifteen to twenty minutes. It makes his teeth set on edge and causes worrying of his fingers.

Sayu sighs. “Which doesn’t really make any sense, considering you two have been together for how long now?”

“Around eight months.”

“So you should have at least had one big date by now!” She exclaims, her hands waving around her head. Light laughs.

“Well, between his schedule and mine, we never have time. College doesn’t work like that. It’s either he has a night class or we’re both busy with papers.”

Sayu just nods. His phone begins to ring, vibrating in his hand. The caller I.D. says ‘Beyond’ on the front. He smiles, holding up his index finger at Sayu.

“Hey,” Light says, answering the phone.

“Hey, Light, what house number was it?” he hears the accented Japanese through the phone, his voice obviously hinting at concentration.

“23,” Light begins to go around the room, scanning for anything he may need to bring. He has his wallet in his back pocket, his phone which he is talking on now, and…that seems to be it. It’s not as though he needs to bring a huge textbook to a date.

He hears a sound of confirmation. “That’s what I thought, but I just wanted to make sure. Don’t really want to show up at someone else’s house. Okay, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He hangs up the phone, a light blush having settled on his cheeks. He is grinning like a fool at Sayu.

 Sometimes he wonders how he ended up like this-a love struck little boy, who gets excited over the smallest things. It’s foolish of him, yet, he can’t help it if he acts like this.

Light starts out of the room. Sayu follows him, and he knows that they’re thinking the same thing, as they begin to walk down the stairs: what will their dad think?

He’s not only excited. He’s nervous. His father doesn’t know. His mother suspects him of something, has suspected him of something ever since he chopped his hair off. Ever since his chest started appearing to be flat.

He stops at the bottom of the stairs. The front door is a few long strides forward. The kitchen is to the left of him, where his mother is making dinner for herself and the rest of their little family, excluding Light. His father is sitting in the living room, to the right of him. He’s watching the news. Of course. It’s the only thing he ever watches.

With a deep breath, he takes a step down. He walks into the kitchen, and grabs a glass from the cabinet and runs it under the faucet. He takes a few sips of it, then puts it on the edge of the sink. His mother is looking at him strangely, her eyes slanted in curiosity.

“I thought you said you had a date tonight.” She says. She’s holding a pair of cooking chopsticks over a pot of boiling noodles, stirring them every so often, as well as the frying vegetables in the pan next to the pot.

“I do,” He replies. There’s a dropping feeling in his stomach.

 _No, nothing is going to happen_ , he thinks. _I’m just overreacting. I’ll just tell her I felt like changing it up. It’s matching couples night. No, that won’t explain why my chest would be flat. I can just tell her this was the only nice thing I could find-I was in a hurry-_

“Well, I thought you would be wearing a dress. You have such a nice figure, sweetheart, don’t you want to impress him?”

His eyes shift to Sayu, who is standing on the other side of the kitchen. “Well, it was the first thing I grabbed. I figured I’d switch it up a bit.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to change before you go? I’m sure I can find you something-“

“Oh, stop bothering her, Sachiko.” His father says from the other room. “Let them have some fun. Although, I must ask, Light, why not a dress?”

Light shrugs. “I just didn’t want to wear one. I’m going to wait outside.”

Sachiko shakes her heard. “Can we at least meet him?”

Light freezes.

This is possibly one of the worst situations he could be in right now. Why didn’t he think this through? Because Beyond knows, Sayu knows, and Beyond and Sayu also know that his parents don’t know he’s transgender, and anything could be better than this instance right now, because _he_ just _knows_ how insistent Beyond is and how _much_ Beyond cares for him, that he won’t let them misgender him.

He’s stuck. He glances at Sayu again. He takes a deep breath.

“Yeah. And I think I will change. This isn’t me.” He laughs, and starts up the stairs, and inside he’s just screaming, he wants to scream and cry and be angry, but he can’t, he won’t let this night be ruined just because his parents don’t know and he doesn’t want to tell them yet.

 _But,_ he thinks, _maybe it’s time_.

Perhaps it’s time for him to stop being a pansy and start being a ‘real man’, and make them stop saying all of these things that most certainly are not him, but no. He does not want to. His heart races at the thought of him even considering something like that. He must deceive them, himself; he has to keep pretending to be someone he’s not.

He makes it up into his room. He shuts the door. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. He’s on the verge of crying, his eyes teared up. He breathes in, and out.

He can see himself in the mirror again. He hates it.

Before even realizing it, he’s searching for a dress, in a small section hidden in his closet. His stomach turns at the thought of even wearing one. But if it’s the only way he’s going to leave the house, then he will. He takes off his shirt and jeans, and hesitating, takes off his binder and puts on a real bra. He replaces his boxers with panties, so the loose fabric won’t stick to him and cause a print visible through the dress.

There’s a plain black dress sitting on the bed. It’s a long-sleeved, knee length, form fitting dress that is repulsive tom him. He slides it on and looks in the mirror.

He hates it all.

Everything, from his chest to his hips. He hunches over, something he used to do to conceal his chest before he had a binder, and barely worked. He stands up straight. It’s not him. He feels faint, fatigued. He wants to lie down, but he doesn’t.

Light grabs a large over the shoulder bag that looks like a purse. He folds up all of his other clothes that he was going to wear tonight and puts them in the bag, plus pajamas and clothes for tomorrow. He grabs a spare little bathroom bag he hides in a drawer in his desk that includes a comb and a toothbrush and sticks it in there as well. He grabs his cell phone charger and a book.

He doesn’t want to stay here tonight.

He grabs his phone. He texts Beyond in English. _Don’t say anything._

He throws the bag over his shoulder and walks back to his door. He’s debating.

 _Fuck them_ , Light thinks suddenly, _Fuck them._

Light takes his clothes out of the bag. He puts everything back on. The one item he changed was his jacket, which is now a plain, black blazer. He runs a hand through his hair and heads downstairs.

He doesn’t feel like he did before.

Somehow they managed to ruin the perfectness of the night. He flips open his phone and quickly texts _never mind_ to Beyond. He closes the phone and walks past all of them, out of the door with an utterance of goodbye, and waits, so patiently, for the car to show up at the steps of the door.

He feels like an idiot. Like a weakling. He wants to tell them so badly, because he wants their acceptance, their approval. He isn’t a girl, or anything close to one, and hearing ‘she’ constantly makes him feel worthless, because that isn’t who Light Yagami is. If he could just have one day, even, one day to think over himself, to figure out a way to tell them-

Bullshit. He’s done that before. He just doesn’t have the courage and he knows it. Thinking about it makes his heart race at a million miles an hour. It was hard enough telling Sayu, and that was when he was fifteen. That was three years ago. Three years ago and an eleven year old at the time was able to accept that her older sister was now her older brother, and that he feels uncomfortable with his body and wants one that represents who he really is.

If a child can wrap their head around that, then why can’t adults?

Light just doesn’t understand why he can’t easily do it. He does everything with ease when speaking, whether it be up on a stage, in front of the classroom, or talking to the head of the police department about a case. He is able to do everything with confidence, with a passive voice.

But he’s going to. He swears.

Light sees the car Beyond has been borrowing drive down the street. It’s an old, small car, that makes lots of odd noises and is very rusty, but at least it drives.

He watches the car pull up next to him, and the driver’s door opens, and oh _god_ , Beyond Birthday walks towards him with a smirk on his face and a cigarette in his mouth, dressed in dark pants and a dark, blood red button up with a black neck tie.

“Get in loser, we’re going on a date.” Beyond shouts, taking a final drag of his cigarette and flicking the rest out into the street.

Light walks towards him, his lips curling upwards as their bodies collide in an embrace. The sensation of the night is slowly, returning again.

“Make me,” he mumbles, and plants a kiss on the foreigner’s lips, lovingly, with so much passion they should be ridiculed.

Beyond laughs. “Alright then. I guess I’ll just have to cancel the reservations I made for Nodaiwa.”

Light’s eyes widen, and he looks up at the barely inches taller guy. “Nodaiwa?”

His boyfriend nods. “I’m pretty good, aren’t I? I’m actually glad I could save up enough to go there. It’s 3900 yen for the cheapest plate.”

Beyond swoops down and plants a sneak little kiss underneath Light’s jaw. Light just can’t believe he would be willing to spend that much money on dinner. He feels almost guilty.

The front door opens. Light instinctively pulls away. His father and mother are standing there, and Sayu is in the back. _Not now…_

His father clears his throat. “You are Light’s boyfriend?”

Beyond nods. “Yes. Beyond Birthday, pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine. May I invite you in?”

Shit. Light looks to Beyond, and back to his parents. “Actually, we have reservations, and we’re already running late.” He speaks up. “Depending on when we get back, we can have a…proper introduction.”

Soichiro simply nods. “Alright then. Take care of her.” He says to Beyond, which earns a grimace from Light and noticeable confusion from Beyond. The door shuts, and silently, Light gets into the car.

There’s a silence between them, and outside, as he’s walking away. It makes him want to cringe.

Beyond gets into the car and starts it up. He grabs the pack of cigarettes lying in the cup holder and takes one out, lighting it with the lighter that sits in the center compartment.

“No offense, but is your dad one of those pricks who has his mind set to one thing and one thing only and nothing else is right except for what he thinks?” He changes the gear and he begins to drive.

Light nods. “Kind of. He’s odd. He agrees with certain things but adds a twist sometimes.”

“So he’s one of those pricks.”

Light nods again, this time with a sigh.

“They nearly convinced me to wear a dress tonight.” Light says. “I’m really tempted, no, I really feel like I need to tell them about it soon. But I don’t want the wrong reaction, you know? I’m scared. I don’t want anything to happen if I do.”

Beyond puts his blinker on to turn right. Into the city. “You have every reason to be frightened. It’s not something lighthearted.”

“No, it’s not. I can see that.”

“It’s just a matter of timing, Light. Also, explanation. “

Light sits back in his seat. He doesn’t want to think about it anymore.

“Hey.” He hears Beyond. He looks toward him, and there’s something radiant about him, in the nighttime, his features enhanced only by the streetlights and the head of the cigarette that glows orange with each huff on it. There’s something that makes Light’s heart pound as Beyond takes a hand off the wheel and places it in the center, allowing Light to take hold of it.

“You’re going to be just fine. I promise. And, if not, just remember that I’m always here.”

He nods. “Yeah. So, how have classes been?”

Beyond laughs. “Shitty. Too much work for a weekend, you know? Although I don’t mind having art assignments, they keep me occupied.”

Light nods. “Mm. I have two essays due that I still need to write up. I’ve been procrastinating.”

“Hmm. Don’t fall behind.”

“I’m trying not to,” Light says, “but for now, I’m pretty stable. It’s not like I have class after class after class, you know? I can get things done in between. I just needed the weekend.”

“I get you. It can be a pain.”

They fall into a comfortable silence. Tokyo’s lights illuminate the sky and the car as they enter the city. The nightlife is amazing-there are so many people, so many shops so brilliantly colored and festive, and Light is beaming, his smile radiating amongst the glowing lights that surround them.

They park a few blocks away from the restaurant. The building looks like a modernized version of an ancient temple. Lanterns can be seen showing through the windows. Light has only ever seen this place, but he’s heard that the dishes here are spectacular. It’s something he’s always wanted to try for himself.

He still can’t believe Beyond would save up so much money for this dinner. Light has to make it up to him with another date, or, to make up the difference, about twenty little dates to sushi bars and tea houses.

Or, perhaps, a date better than this.

Beyond makes it to the door first, and opens it for Light. “After you.”

Light raises his eyebrow. “Oh, really? I insist you must go first.”

Beyond chuckles and enters the restaurant. There are not many people inside the traditional yet sophisticated restaurant, and they are the youngest ones there. Not that it matters, but all of the older couples are staring at them, as if they’re disease ridden or children of the devil.

“Welcome to Nodaiwa.” The waiter greets. “Reservation for…?”

“Beyond Birthday.” Beyond says. The waiter crosses off a table on the board that the two cannot see, and leads them to a table in the corner of the dining area.

Light sits down and takes off his jacket. Beyond sits down across from him, his vibrant smell of smoke and cologne drifting across the table and into his nose. A candle sits between them, as well as a small vase of cherry blossoms.

“May I offer you any drinks? Sake, champagne?” The waiter asks them, pouring the two glasses of water.

Light looks to Beyond. Beyond exchanges the look. “We’ll have two glasses of champagne, please.”

“Of course.”

With that, he walks away. He didn’t even ask for an I.D. Then again, Beyond is two years older than him, and he is of legal age to drink. Either way, it remains unquestioned.

Light stares at Beyond. His elbows are placed on the table in a graceful manner, and his face shows yet another smile, one that admires, one that causes Light to smile back the same way.

“You’re so cute.” Beyond says.

Light laughs. It’s bright, like a spark.

“No, Light, you don’t even understand it. It’s like you’re the sun, in this little world that we have, and you are the only one who can illuminate mine so perfectly. Your laugh is so gentle and your eyes, they hold so much dominance, despite your being with me, the softness. Words cannot express, in any language, how much I love you, Light.”

The worst part about this is, he says it all so precisely in English.

Light, for once, is flustered, and at a loss of words.

Their champagne comes, but Light doesn’t even need it. He feels intoxicated enough from Beyond. It’s top of the line, and tastes bubbly, and warms his body just enough.

They don’t even order their food. It just comes, a chef’s special, set down in front of them.

“You know,” Light says in between bites of the marvelous maki, “I always wondered, how do you know Japanese? It’s definitely not an easy language.”

Beyond simply shrugs. “I learned when I was very young, and have been studying it since. More so since I came here.”

Light is interested. “Oh, I see. How old were you?”

“Uhm…nine? Ten? It was always a fascinating language to me. But I’m still learning, it’s not that great to be honest.”

“Well, you can be understood well enough.” Light says.

“I guess so. I like Japanese. Much better than English.” He takes another bite of his food.

“I always found English interesting. Mostly because of all of the rules that apply to it, and how letters are pronounced differently. Like a ‘c’ can be pronounced like ‘kuh’ or ‘suh’. Or how ‘t-i-o-n’ makes a ‘shun’ sound. Then again, English isn’t my native language.”

Beyond shakes his head. “It’s not mine either, but I don’t really like it.”

“Right. Isn’t it Spanish?”

“Latin-American Spanish, to be specific. Don’t get it confused with the Spanish from Spain. I’ve messed a few situations because of that…” He takes another bite, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Oh really?” Light asks. “And how did you do that?”

Beyond, noticing Light’s amusement, sighs in response.  “I was in Madrid a few years ago for a class field trip, and we went to a restaurant at the end of the day. Being in a Spanish restaurant, looked at the menu, tacos. Of course I’m going to get fucking tacos, even if they’re technically fake.” He pauses to take a sip of his champagne. “Anyways, the server comes around and asks what we’d like. So I tell him, you know, _dos tacos_ , and he genuinely looks confused, so he starts saying ‘ _Me cago en Dios?’_ and I was also confused. He literally said he shit on God. So _tacos_ means swears, apparently.”

Light is laughing. It’s not that funny. However, Beyond joins in too, and the two of them are acting like complete fools in this overly sophisticated restaurant, one definitely not tailored to house them and their obnoxious laughter.

The check comes over a few minutes later, and Beyond looks at it. “Ah, it could have been worse. It’s honestly much less than what I saved, so that’s good.” He takes a card out of his wallet and places it on the little tray. Light can see that the total amount spent was 13,230 yen. It makes him regret eating that fantastic sushi and drinking that over the top champagne.

“Thank you, Beyond.”

“No problem. Do your parents still want to meet me? It is quite late, after all...”

“Let me check.” Light pulls his phone out of his pocket. He has a missed call from Sayu and a text. He opens it.

_OMG!! YOU TWO ARE SO CUTE! Have fun! :D_

Light clicks the reply button and starts to press the buttons. _Do mom and dad still want to meet B?_

He keeps his phone out because he knows he’ll get a reply in less than two minutes. Sayu is always on her phone, texting her friends. Even at this time of night.

“Sayu thinks we’re cute, apparently.” He tells Beyond, taking a sip of the water still in front of his empty plate.

“Does she? I agree with her.” He laughs.

The tray comes the exact moment Light gets a response. He opens it up almost immediately. _Sadly, yes. I’m surprised mom is still awake. She’s been up since six._

Light rolls his eyes and sticks his phone back in his pocket. “Yes, they still want to meet you.”

“Okay. Should I write my name ‘ _Basude_ i’ or ‘ _Tanjobi_ ’?”

“Whichever one, I guess. My name is just ridiculous.”

“Poor _Tsuki._ ” Light sees Beyond smirk.

With a final mark on the receipt, Beyond takes his card and slides it back into his wallet. The two stand up, Light grabbing his jacket, and they exit the restaurant.

Light tries to grab Beyond’s hand, once they exit, and they walk together under the first snow, hands clasped, feet in sync.

They stop walking halfway to the car. Light takes both sides of Beyond’s face and leads it to his own, soft lips crashing against warm lips, the taste of sushi and champagne and smoke almost immediately exchanged as their mouths move together in harmony, fitting to one another in a most graceful way.

Beyond somehow manages to deepen the kiss, without meaning to, once he wraps his arms around Light’s torso and the square of his back. It engages power, almost, and he wants more, more kisses and moments like this. The two are completely wrapped up in each other, wanting each other so badly, to somehow want to be closer to one another without being sexual.

They need each other.

They pull away. Light can conclude his thoughts.

It was rough, but he made it.

Light loves Beyond. And he’s so, terribly glad that he is the one thing of everything that he can truly be happy about.

 


End file.
